Corporate Humor

Boss Becomes Humourous!

Nov 30, -0001 0 23 seconds to read

…

Boss Tells Some Jokes

Nov 30, -0001 0 37 seconds to read

…

Salesman’s Woes

Nov 30, -0001 0 25 seconds to read

…

Economist’s V-Day Message

Nov 30, -0001 0 12 seconds to read

…

Walking Economy

Nov 30, -0001 0 25 seconds to read

…

New Accountant

Nov 30, -0001 0 28 seconds to read

…

Work Experience

Nov 30, -0001 0 24 seconds to read

…

In Mother’s Footsteps

Nov 30, -0001 0 25 seconds to read

…

Nepali Invention @ CAN Infotech

Nov 30, -0001 0 31 seconds to read

…

Pills And Colours

Nov 30, -0001 0 27 seconds to read

…

Businessman’s Revenge

Nov 30, -0001 0 28 seconds to read

…

Growing Nepali Film Industry

Nov 30, -0001 0 28 seconds to read

…

Parliamentary Language

Nov 30, -0001 0 46 seconds to read

…

Prachanda’s Voluntary Disclosure

Nov 30, -0001 0 42 seconds to read

…

Open Secret

Nov 30, -0001 0 49 seconds to read

…

< previousnext >

No Laughing Matter

The Sweet Rewards of Power

By Madan Lamsal

. . .
read more »

NEPSE

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	Boss: &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. Knock knock.&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Employee: &ldquo;Who&rsquo;s there?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Boss: &ldquo;Not you anymore.&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<strong> &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
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	The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.</div>
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	&nbsp;</div>
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	&ldquo;What&rsquo;s the matter?&rdquo; grumbled the boss, &ldquo;Haven&rsquo;t you got a sense of humour?&rdquo;</div>
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<div>
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	Patient: &ldquo;Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself.&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
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	Doctor: &ldquo;Why is that?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Patient: &ldquo;I&rsquo;m a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don&rsquo;t want.&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>-ML</strong></div>
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	A Nepali economist sent the following message to his beloved on the last Valentine&rsquo;s Day:</div>
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	&nbsp;</div>
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	&ldquo;Despite your decade of inflation, I still love you!&rdquo; <strong>&nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
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	&ldquo;I&rsquo;m a walking economy,&rdquo; an economist was overheard to say.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;My hairline&rsquo;s in recession, my waist is a victim of inflation, and together they&rsquo;re putting me in a deep depression!&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<strong>-ML</strong></div>
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	A Nepali businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for the new accountant.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	His friend asks, &ldquo;Didn&rsquo;t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
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	The businessman replies, &ldquo;That&rsquo;s the accountant we&rsquo;re looking for!&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp;-ML</strong></div>
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	Two employees are having a conversation on work experience. One asks the other: &ldquo;How long have you been working here?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;Ever since the boss threatened to fire me!&rdquo; came &nbsp;the reply. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>-ML</strong></div>',
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			'title' => 'In Mother’s Footsteps',
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			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A candidate to be the heroine in a new Nepali movie was being interviewed. The director and the producer had a condition to the actress that she cannot get married at least for another three years.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	The candidate replied: &lsquo;Rather, I will never get married. I will follow in the footsteps of my mother. Like her I will always remain single.&rsquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</div>',
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			'created' => '2014-01-20',
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			'title' => 'Nepali Invention @ CAN Infotech',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	At his company&rsquo;s stall in the ongoing CAN Info Tech, a computer engineer proudly announces about a software they have recently developed.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&lsquo;Dear visitors, we have developed a new software which we can call truly Nepali as it behaves like a typical Nepali.&rsquo;&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&lsquo;In what way?&rsquo; ask the visitors.&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&lsquo;Whenever it makes a mistake,&rsquo; replied the engineer, &lsquo;it blames other software or the computer. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; -ML</strong></div>',
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			'description' => 'At his company’s stall in the ongoing CAN Info Tech, a computer engineer proudly announces about a software they have recently developed.',
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			'title' => 'Pills And Colours',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Dr Bharat at the Norvic Hospital prescribed the medicines to a businessman and repeated his instructions: &lsquo;The yellow pills like Panchayat colour are for your stomach, the red pills like communists are for your lever and the green pills like tree are for your heart. I hope you got that straight?&rsquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Businessman: &lsquo;It&rsquo;s all clear to me. I hope that pills also understand where they are supposed to go.&rsquo; <strong>&nbsp;-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
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			'modified' => '2013-12-23',
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			'description' => 'Dr Bharat at the Norvic Hospital prescribed the medicines to a businessman and repeated his instructions: ‘The yellow pills like Panchayat colour are for your stomach, the red pills like communists are for your lever and the green pills like tree are for your heart. I hope you got that straight?’',
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			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Businessman’s Revenge',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Nepali novae rich businessman was seen carrying a remote control in his coat at Hyatt. One of his acquaintances could not resist asking him: &lsquo;I noticed that you are carrying a TV remote control. What may be the reason?&rsquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	The businessman said: &lsquo;My wife always refuses to come to the cocktail parties. So I figured out this as the most evil thing I could do to her legally.&rsquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; &nbsp; -ML</strong></div>',
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			'created' => '2013-12-17',
			'modified' => '2013-12-17',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Nepali novae rich businessman was seen carrying a remote control in his coat at Hyatt. One of his acquaintances could not resist asking him: ‘I noticed that you are carrying a TV remote control. What may be the reason?’',
			'sortorder' => '2125',
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			'title' => 'Growing Nepali Film Industry',
			'sub_title' => '',
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	A famous actor from abroad was requested to re-inaugurate a Nepali film. After the ribbon-cutting was over, he was asked to make a speech as the chief guest before screening of the movie started.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Looking at the sparse audience at the cinema hall the guest said: &lsquo;I see each of you must have bought two or three seats. This shows how the popularity of Nepali film industry is growing.&rsquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; -ML</div>',
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			'title' => 'Parliamentary Language',
			'sub_title' => '',
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			'content' => '<div>
	<span style="font-size: 12px;">The main leaders of four major parties viz Sushil, JN, Makune, Prachanda &amp; Baburam were discussing on how to form a new government. While discussion was going on they started to fight over some trivial issues like &lsquo;decision to be made on consensus or based on majority, how others should address UNCPM leaders publicly&rsquo;, etc.&nbsp;</span></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	But Sushil and JN, unable to tolerate the languages used by Prachanda &amp; Baburam &nbsp;and also their demand for recounting of the votes of last election, thrashed UNCPM leaders in the meeting.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	On this Prachanda and Baburam got wild and said: &ldquo;You can do anything but we warn you, never use the Parliamentary language with us&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</div>
<div>
	<strong>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
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			'description' => 'The main leaders of four major parties viz Sushil, JN, Makune, Prachanda & Baburam were discussing on how to form a new government. While discussion was going on they started to fight over some trivial issues like ‘decision to be made on consensus or based on majority, how others should address UNCPM leaders publicly’, etc.',
			'sortorder' => '2032',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
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	(int) 13 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2155',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Prachanda’s Voluntary Disclosure',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Prachanda was hurrying down the Paris Danda road dresses well as usual. His old Guru, now turned a foe, Mohan Vaidya &lsquo;Kiran&rsquo; stopped him and said: &ldquo;Comrade, I must draw your attention to the fact that your shirt-buttons are undone and your tie knot is very loose like your talks. You look tired and hungry.&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Prachanda : &ldquo;No, I am neither tired nor hungry. Rather I am angry with you. However, now I am on the way to the Income Tax Office to make a voluntary disclosure to pave the way to become the President&rdquo;. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<strong> &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-11-25',
			'modified' => '2013-11-25',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Prachanda was hurrying down the Paris Danda road dresses well as usual. His old Guru, now turned a foe, Mohan Vaidya ‘Kiran’ stopped him and said: “Comrade, I must draw your attention to the fact that your shirt-buttons are undone and your tie knot is very loose like your talks. You look tired and hungry.”',
			'sortorder' => '2002',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 14 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '1983',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Open Secret',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Joint Economic Commission Meeting of Nepal India held last time put many new issues on the table including the additional lock system that the Indian Customs had started enforcing on Nepal bound containers ferrying third country imports. The commerce secretary of Nepal was not very happy with the decision but could not say it openly in the meeting.&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	After the meeting was over a press conference was organized during which a &nbsp;journalist asked a peculiar question. &ldquo;What is the common among the Nepal India border, additional lock system and the Nepali Post office?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Thinking for a while, the commerce secretary of Nepal replies in one gasp: &ldquo;It&rsquo;s an open secret. None of them can be closed&rdquo;. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-10-21',
			'modified' => '2013-10-21',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Joint Economic Commission Meeting of Nepal India held last time put many new issues on the table including the additional lock system that the Indian Customs had started enforcing on Nepal bound containers ferrying third country imports. The commerce secretary of Nepal was not very happy with the decision but could not say it openly in the meeting.',
			'sortorder' => '1833',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	)
)
$current_user = null
$logged_in = false
include - APP/View/Elements/side_bar.ctp, line 60
View::_evaluate() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 971
View::_render() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 933
View::_renderElement() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 1224
View::element() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 418
include - APP/View/Articles/index.ctp, line 157
View::_evaluate() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 971
View::_render() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 933
View::render() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 473
Controller::render() - CORE/Cake/Controller/Controller.php, line 968
Dispatcher::_invoke() - CORE/Cake/Routing/Dispatcher.php, line 200
Dispatcher::dispatch() - CORE/Cake/Routing/Dispatcher.php, line 167
[main] - APP/webroot/index.php, line 117

Warning (2): simplexml_load_file() [<a href='http://php.net/function.simplexml-load-file'>function.simplexml-load-file</a>]: I/O warning : failed to load external entity &quot;&quot; [APP/View/Elements/side_bar.ctp, line 60]Code Context//    $file = 'http://aabhiyan:QUVLg8Wzs2F7G9N7@nepalstock.com.np/api/indexdata.xml';



    if(!$xml = simplexml_load_file($file)){
$viewFile = '/var/www/html/newbusinessage.com/app/View/Elements/side_bar.ctp'
$dataForView = array(
	'articles' => array(
		(int) 0 => array(
			'Article' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
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			'Article' => array(
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			'Article' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
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			'Article' => array(
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)
$articles = array(
	(int) 0 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2744',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Boss Becomes Humourous!',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Boss: &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. Knock knock.&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Employee: &ldquo;Who&rsquo;s there?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Boss: &ldquo;Not you anymore.&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<strong> &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-03-10',
			'modified' => '2014-03-11',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Boss: “I’ve decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. Knock knock.”',
			'sortorder' => '2588',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 1 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2701',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Boss Tells Some Jokes',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;What&rsquo;s the matter?&rdquo; grumbled the boss, &ldquo;Haven&rsquo;t you got a sense of humour?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t have to laugh,&rdquo; she replied, &ldquo;I&rsquo;m leaving Friday.&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; -ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-03-03',
			'modified' => '2014-03-03',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.',
			'sortorder' => '2542',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 2 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2670',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Salesman’s Woes',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Patient: &ldquo;Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself.&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Doctor: &ldquo;Why is that?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Patient: &ldquo;I&rsquo;m a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don&rsquo;t want.&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-02-24',
			'modified' => '2014-02-25',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Patient: “Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself.”',
			'sortorder' => '2513',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 3 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2605',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Economist’s V-Day Message',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Nepali economist sent the following message to his beloved on the last Valentine&rsquo;s Day:</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;Despite your decade of inflation, I still love you!&rdquo; <strong>&nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-02-18',
			'modified' => '2014-02-18',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Nepali economist sent the following message to his beloved on the last Valentine’s Day:',
			'sortorder' => '2450',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 4 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2560',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Walking Economy',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	&ldquo;I&rsquo;m a walking economy,&rdquo; an economist was overheard to say.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;My hairline&rsquo;s in recession, my waist is a victim of inflation, and together they&rsquo;re putting me in a deep depression!&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<strong>-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-02-09',
			'modified' => '2014-02-09',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => '“I’m a walking economy,” an economist was overheard to say.',
			'sortorder' => '2408',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 5 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2559',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'New Accountant',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Nepali businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for the new accountant.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	His friend asks, &ldquo;Didn&rsquo;t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	The businessman replies, &ldquo;That&rsquo;s the accountant we&rsquo;re looking for!&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp;-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-02-09',
			'modified' => '2014-02-09',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Nepali businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for the new accountant.',
			'sortorder' => '2402',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 6 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2514',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Work Experience',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Two employees are having a conversation on work experience. One asks the other: &ldquo;How long have you been working here?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;Ever since the boss threatened to fire me!&rdquo; came &nbsp;the reply. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-01-27',
			'modified' => '2014-01-27',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Two employees are having a conversation on work experience. One asks the other: “How long have you been working here?”',
			'sortorder' => '2358',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 7 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2466',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'In Mother’s Footsteps',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A candidate to be the heroine in a new Nepali movie was being interviewed. The director and the producer had a condition to the actress that she cannot get married at least for another three years.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	The candidate replied: &lsquo;Rather, I will never get married. I will follow in the footsteps of my mother. Like her I will always remain single.&rsquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-01-20',
			'modified' => '2014-01-20',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A candidate to be the heroine in a new Nepali movie was being interviewed. The director and the producer had a condition to the actress that she cannot get married at least for another three years.',
			'sortorder' => '2307',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 8 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2418',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Nepali Invention @ CAN Infotech',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	At his company&rsquo;s stall in the ongoing CAN Info Tech, a computer engineer proudly announces about a software they have recently developed.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&lsquo;Dear visitors, we have developed a new software which we can call truly Nepali as it behaves like a typical Nepali.&rsquo;&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&lsquo;In what way?&rsquo; ask the visitors.&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&lsquo;Whenever it makes a mistake,&rsquo; replied the engineer, &lsquo;it blames other software or the computer. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; -ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-01-06',
			'modified' => '2014-01-06',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'At his company’s stall in the ongoing CAN Info Tech, a computer engineer proudly announces about a software they have recently developed.',
			'sortorder' => '2260',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 9 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2328',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Pills And Colours',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Dr Bharat at the Norvic Hospital prescribed the medicines to a businessman and repeated his instructions: &lsquo;The yellow pills like Panchayat colour are for your stomach, the red pills like communists are for your lever and the green pills like tree are for your heart. I hope you got that straight?&rsquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Businessman: &lsquo;It&rsquo;s all clear to me. I hope that pills also understand where they are supposed to go.&rsquo; <strong>&nbsp;-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-12-23',
			'modified' => '2013-12-23',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Dr Bharat at the Norvic Hospital prescribed the medicines to a businessman and repeated his instructions: ‘The yellow pills like Panchayat colour are for your stomach, the red pills like communists are for your lever and the green pills like tree are for your heart. I hope you got that straight?’',
			'sortorder' => '2171',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 10 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2282',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Businessman’s Revenge',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Nepali novae rich businessman was seen carrying a remote control in his coat at Hyatt. One of his acquaintances could not resist asking him: &lsquo;I noticed that you are carrying a TV remote control. What may be the reason?&rsquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	The businessman said: &lsquo;My wife always refuses to come to the cocktail parties. So I figured out this as the most evil thing I could do to her legally.&rsquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; &nbsp; -ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-12-17',
			'modified' => '2013-12-17',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Nepali novae rich businessman was seen carrying a remote control in his coat at Hyatt. One of his acquaintances could not resist asking him: ‘I noticed that you are carrying a TV remote control. What may be the reason?’',
			'sortorder' => '2125',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
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	(int) 11 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2240',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Growing Nepali Film Industry',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A famous actor from abroad was requested to re-inaugurate a Nepali film. After the ribbon-cutting was over, he was asked to make a speech as the chief guest before screening of the movie started.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Looking at the sparse audience at the cinema hall the guest said: &lsquo;I see each of you must have bought two or three seats. This shows how the popularity of Nepali film industry is growing.&rsquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; -ML</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-12-09',
			'modified' => '2013-12-09',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A famous actor from abroad was requested to re-inaugurate a Nepali film. After the ribbon-cutting was over, he was asked to make a speech as the chief guest before screening of the movie started.',
			'sortorder' => '2084',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
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			'id' => '2188',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Parliamentary Language',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	<span style="font-size: 12px;">The main leaders of four major parties viz Sushil, JN, Makune, Prachanda &amp; Baburam were discussing on how to form a new government. While discussion was going on they started to fight over some trivial issues like &lsquo;decision to be made on consensus or based on majority, how others should address UNCPM leaders publicly&rsquo;, etc.&nbsp;</span></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	But Sushil and JN, unable to tolerate the languages used by Prachanda &amp; Baburam &nbsp;and also their demand for recounting of the votes of last election, thrashed UNCPM leaders in the meeting.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	On this Prachanda and Baburam got wild and said: &ldquo;You can do anything but we warn you, never use the Parliamentary language with us&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</div>
<div>
	<strong>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-12-02',
			'modified' => '2013-12-02',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'The main leaders of four major parties viz Sushil, JN, Makune, Prachanda & Baburam were discussing on how to form a new government. While discussion was going on they started to fight over some trivial issues like ‘decision to be made on consensus or based on majority, how others should address UNCPM leaders publicly’, etc.',
			'sortorder' => '2032',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
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	(int) 13 => array(
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			'id' => '2155',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Prachanda’s Voluntary Disclosure',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Prachanda was hurrying down the Paris Danda road dresses well as usual. His old Guru, now turned a foe, Mohan Vaidya &lsquo;Kiran&rsquo; stopped him and said: &ldquo;Comrade, I must draw your attention to the fact that your shirt-buttons are undone and your tie knot is very loose like your talks. You look tired and hungry.&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Prachanda : &ldquo;No, I am neither tired nor hungry. Rather I am angry with you. However, now I am on the way to the Income Tax Office to make a voluntary disclosure to pave the way to become the President&rdquo;. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<strong> &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-11-25',
			'modified' => '2013-11-25',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Prachanda was hurrying down the Paris Danda road dresses well as usual. His old Guru, now turned a foe, Mohan Vaidya ‘Kiran’ stopped him and said: “Comrade, I must draw your attention to the fact that your shirt-buttons are undone and your tie knot is very loose like your talks. You look tired and hungry.”',
			'sortorder' => '2002',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
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			'id' => '1983',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Open Secret',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Joint Economic Commission Meeting of Nepal India held last time put many new issues on the table including the additional lock system that the Indian Customs had started enforcing on Nepal bound containers ferrying third country imports. The commerce secretary of Nepal was not very happy with the decision but could not say it openly in the meeting.&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	After the meeting was over a press conference was organized during which a &nbsp;journalist asked a peculiar question. &ldquo;What is the common among the Nepal India border, additional lock system and the Nepali Post office?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Thinking for a while, the commerce secretary of Nepal replies in one gasp: &ldquo;It&rsquo;s an open secret. None of them can be closed&rdquo;. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-10-21',
			'modified' => '2013-10-21',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Joint Economic Commission Meeting of Nepal India held last time put many new issues on the table including the additional lock system that the Indian Customs had started enforcing on Nepal bound containers ferrying third country imports. The commerce secretary of Nepal was not very happy with the decision but could not say it openly in the meeting.',
			'sortorder' => '1833',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	)
)
$current_user = null
$logged_in = false
simplexml_load_file - [internal], line ??
include - APP/View/Elements/side_bar.ctp, line 60
View::_evaluate() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 971
View::_render() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 933
View::_renderElement() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 1224
View::element() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 418
include - APP/View/Articles/index.ctp, line 157
View::_evaluate() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 971
View::_render() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 933
View::render() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 473
Controller::render() - CORE/Cake/Controller/Controller.php, line 968
Dispatcher::_invoke() - CORE/Cake/Routing/Dispatcher.php, line 200
Dispatcher::dispatch() - CORE/Cake/Routing/Dispatcher.php, line 167
[main] - APP/webroot/index.php, line 117

file not found!

Notice (8): Undefined variable: file [APP/View/Elements/side_bar.ctp, line 133]Code Context  //  $file = 'http://aabhiyan:QUVLg8Wzs2F7G9N7@nepalstock.com.np/api/subindexdata.xml';



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$articles = array(
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		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2744',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Boss Becomes Humourous!',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Boss: &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. Knock knock.&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Employee: &ldquo;Who&rsquo;s there?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Boss: &ldquo;Not you anymore.&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<strong> &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
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			'created' => '2014-03-10',
			'modified' => '2014-03-11',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Boss: “I’ve decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. Knock knock.”',
			'sortorder' => '2588',
			'image' => null,
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			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Boss Tells Some Jokes',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;What&rsquo;s the matter?&rdquo; grumbled the boss, &ldquo;Haven&rsquo;t you got a sense of humour?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t have to laugh,&rdquo; she replied, &ldquo;I&rsquo;m leaving Friday.&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; -ML</strong></div>',
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			'created' => '2014-03-03',
			'modified' => '2014-03-03',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.',
			'sortorder' => '2542',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
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			'id' => '2670',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Salesman’s Woes',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Patient: &ldquo;Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself.&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Doctor: &ldquo;Why is that?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Patient: &ldquo;I&rsquo;m a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don&rsquo;t want.&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-02-24',
			'modified' => '2014-02-25',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Patient: “Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself.”',
			'sortorder' => '2513',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
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			'id' => '2605',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Economist’s V-Day Message',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Nepali economist sent the following message to his beloved on the last Valentine&rsquo;s Day:</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;Despite your decade of inflation, I still love you!&rdquo; <strong>&nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-02-18',
			'modified' => '2014-02-18',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Nepali economist sent the following message to his beloved on the last Valentine’s Day:',
			'sortorder' => '2450',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
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	(int) 4 => array(
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			'id' => '2560',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Walking Economy',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	&ldquo;I&rsquo;m a walking economy,&rdquo; an economist was overheard to say.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;My hairline&rsquo;s in recession, my waist is a victim of inflation, and together they&rsquo;re putting me in a deep depression!&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<strong>-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-02-09',
			'modified' => '2014-02-09',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => '“I’m a walking economy,” an economist was overheard to say.',
			'sortorder' => '2408',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
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	(int) 5 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2559',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'New Accountant',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Nepali businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for the new accountant.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	His friend asks, &ldquo;Didn&rsquo;t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	The businessman replies, &ldquo;That&rsquo;s the accountant we&rsquo;re looking for!&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp;-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-02-09',
			'modified' => '2014-02-09',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Nepali businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for the new accountant.',
			'sortorder' => '2402',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
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			'id' => '2514',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Work Experience',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Two employees are having a conversation on work experience. One asks the other: &ldquo;How long have you been working here?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;Ever since the boss threatened to fire me!&rdquo; came &nbsp;the reply. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-01-27',
			'modified' => '2014-01-27',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Two employees are having a conversation on work experience. One asks the other: “How long have you been working here?”',
			'sortorder' => '2358',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
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	(int) 7 => array(
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			'id' => '2466',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'In Mother’s Footsteps',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A candidate to be the heroine in a new Nepali movie was being interviewed. The director and the producer had a condition to the actress that she cannot get married at least for another three years.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	The candidate replied: &lsquo;Rather, I will never get married. I will follow in the footsteps of my mother. Like her I will always remain single.&rsquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-01-20',
			'modified' => '2014-01-20',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A candidate to be the heroine in a new Nepali movie was being interviewed. The director and the producer had a condition to the actress that she cannot get married at least for another three years.',
			'sortorder' => '2307',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
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	),
	(int) 8 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2418',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Nepali Invention @ CAN Infotech',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	At his company&rsquo;s stall in the ongoing CAN Info Tech, a computer engineer proudly announces about a software they have recently developed.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&lsquo;Dear visitors, we have developed a new software which we can call truly Nepali as it behaves like a typical Nepali.&rsquo;&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&lsquo;In what way?&rsquo; ask the visitors.&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&lsquo;Whenever it makes a mistake,&rsquo; replied the engineer, &lsquo;it blames other software or the computer. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; -ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-01-06',
			'modified' => '2014-01-06',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'At his company’s stall in the ongoing CAN Info Tech, a computer engineer proudly announces about a software they have recently developed.',
			'sortorder' => '2260',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
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		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2328',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Pills And Colours',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Dr Bharat at the Norvic Hospital prescribed the medicines to a businessman and repeated his instructions: &lsquo;The yellow pills like Panchayat colour are for your stomach, the red pills like communists are for your lever and the green pills like tree are for your heart. I hope you got that straight?&rsquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Businessman: &lsquo;It&rsquo;s all clear to me. I hope that pills also understand where they are supposed to go.&rsquo; <strong>&nbsp;-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-12-23',
			'modified' => '2013-12-23',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Dr Bharat at the Norvic Hospital prescribed the medicines to a businessman and repeated his instructions: ‘The yellow pills like Panchayat colour are for your stomach, the red pills like communists are for your lever and the green pills like tree are for your heart. I hope you got that straight?’',
			'sortorder' => '2171',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 10 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2282',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Businessman’s Revenge',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Nepali novae rich businessman was seen carrying a remote control in his coat at Hyatt. One of his acquaintances could not resist asking him: &lsquo;I noticed that you are carrying a TV remote control. What may be the reason?&rsquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	The businessman said: &lsquo;My wife always refuses to come to the cocktail parties. So I figured out this as the most evil thing I could do to her legally.&rsquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; &nbsp; -ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-12-17',
			'modified' => '2013-12-17',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Nepali novae rich businessman was seen carrying a remote control in his coat at Hyatt. One of his acquaintances could not resist asking him: ‘I noticed that you are carrying a TV remote control. What may be the reason?’',
			'sortorder' => '2125',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 11 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2240',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Growing Nepali Film Industry',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A famous actor from abroad was requested to re-inaugurate a Nepali film. After the ribbon-cutting was over, he was asked to make a speech as the chief guest before screening of the movie started.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Looking at the sparse audience at the cinema hall the guest said: &lsquo;I see each of you must have bought two or three seats. This shows how the popularity of Nepali film industry is growing.&rsquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; -ML</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-12-09',
			'modified' => '2013-12-09',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A famous actor from abroad was requested to re-inaugurate a Nepali film. After the ribbon-cutting was over, he was asked to make a speech as the chief guest before screening of the movie started.',
			'sortorder' => '2084',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
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	(int) 12 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2188',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Parliamentary Language',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	<span style="font-size: 12px;">The main leaders of four major parties viz Sushil, JN, Makune, Prachanda &amp; Baburam were discussing on how to form a new government. While discussion was going on they started to fight over some trivial issues like &lsquo;decision to be made on consensus or based on majority, how others should address UNCPM leaders publicly&rsquo;, etc.&nbsp;</span></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	But Sushil and JN, unable to tolerate the languages used by Prachanda &amp; Baburam &nbsp;and also their demand for recounting of the votes of last election, thrashed UNCPM leaders in the meeting.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	On this Prachanda and Baburam got wild and said: &ldquo;You can do anything but we warn you, never use the Parliamentary language with us&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</div>
<div>
	<strong>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-12-02',
			'modified' => '2013-12-02',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'The main leaders of four major parties viz Sushil, JN, Makune, Prachanda & Baburam were discussing on how to form a new government. While discussion was going on they started to fight over some trivial issues like ‘decision to be made on consensus or based on majority, how others should address UNCPM leaders publicly’, etc.',
			'sortorder' => '2032',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
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	),
	(int) 13 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2155',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Prachanda’s Voluntary Disclosure',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Prachanda was hurrying down the Paris Danda road dresses well as usual. His old Guru, now turned a foe, Mohan Vaidya &lsquo;Kiran&rsquo; stopped him and said: &ldquo;Comrade, I must draw your attention to the fact that your shirt-buttons are undone and your tie knot is very loose like your talks. You look tired and hungry.&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Prachanda : &ldquo;No, I am neither tired nor hungry. Rather I am angry with you. However, now I am on the way to the Income Tax Office to make a voluntary disclosure to pave the way to become the President&rdquo;. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<strong> &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-11-25',
			'modified' => '2013-11-25',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Prachanda was hurrying down the Paris Danda road dresses well as usual. His old Guru, now turned a foe, Mohan Vaidya ‘Kiran’ stopped him and said: “Comrade, I must draw your attention to the fact that your shirt-buttons are undone and your tie knot is very loose like your talks. You look tired and hungry.”',
			'sortorder' => '2002',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 14 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '1983',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Open Secret',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Joint Economic Commission Meeting of Nepal India held last time put many new issues on the table including the additional lock system that the Indian Customs had started enforcing on Nepal bound containers ferrying third country imports. The commerce secretary of Nepal was not very happy with the decision but could not say it openly in the meeting.&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	After the meeting was over a press conference was organized during which a &nbsp;journalist asked a peculiar question. &ldquo;What is the common among the Nepal India border, additional lock system and the Nepali Post office?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Thinking for a while, the commerce secretary of Nepal replies in one gasp: &ldquo;It&rsquo;s an open secret. None of them can be closed&rdquo;. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-10-21',
			'modified' => '2013-10-21',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Joint Economic Commission Meeting of Nepal India held last time put many new issues on the table including the additional lock system that the Indian Customs had started enforcing on Nepal bound containers ferrying third country imports. The commerce secretary of Nepal was not very happy with the decision but could not say it openly in the meeting.',
			'sortorder' => '1833',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	)
)
$current_user = null
$logged_in = false
$xml = false
include - APP/View/Elements/side_bar.ctp, line 133
View::_evaluate() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 971
View::_render() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 933
View::_renderElement() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 1224
View::element() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 418
include - APP/View/Articles/index.ctp, line 157
View::_evaluate() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 971
View::_render() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 933
View::render() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 473
Controller::render() - CORE/Cake/Controller/Controller.php, line 968
Dispatcher::_invoke() - CORE/Cake/Routing/Dispatcher.php, line 200
Dispatcher::dispatch() - CORE/Cake/Routing/Dispatcher.php, line 167
[main] - APP/webroot/index.php, line 117

Warning (2): simplexml_load_file() [<a href='http://php.net/function.simplexml-load-file'>function.simplexml-load-file</a>]: I/O warning : failed to load external entity &quot;&quot; [APP/View/Elements/side_bar.ctp, line 133]Code Context  //  $file = 'http://aabhiyan:QUVLg8Wzs2F7G9N7@nepalstock.com.np/api/subindexdata.xml';



    if(!$xml = simplexml_load_file($file)){
$viewFile = '/var/www/html/newbusinessage.com/app/View/Elements/side_bar.ctp'
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$articles = array(
	(int) 0 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2744',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Boss Becomes Humourous!',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Boss: &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. Knock knock.&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Employee: &ldquo;Who&rsquo;s there?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Boss: &ldquo;Not you anymore.&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<strong> &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-03-10',
			'modified' => '2014-03-11',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Boss: “I’ve decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. Knock knock.”',
			'sortorder' => '2588',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
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			'id' => '2701',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Boss Tells Some Jokes',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;What&rsquo;s the matter?&rdquo; grumbled the boss, &ldquo;Haven&rsquo;t you got a sense of humour?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t have to laugh,&rdquo; she replied, &ldquo;I&rsquo;m leaving Friday.&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; -ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-03-03',
			'modified' => '2014-03-03',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.',
			'sortorder' => '2542',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
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			'user_id' => '0'
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			'id' => '2670',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Salesman’s Woes',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Patient: &ldquo;Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself.&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Doctor: &ldquo;Why is that?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Patient: &ldquo;I&rsquo;m a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don&rsquo;t want.&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-02-24',
			'modified' => '2014-02-25',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Patient: “Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself.”',
			'sortorder' => '2513',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
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			'id' => '2605',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Economist’s V-Day Message',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Nepali economist sent the following message to his beloved on the last Valentine&rsquo;s Day:</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;Despite your decade of inflation, I still love you!&rdquo; <strong>&nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-02-18',
			'modified' => '2014-02-18',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Nepali economist sent the following message to his beloved on the last Valentine’s Day:',
			'sortorder' => '2450',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
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	(int) 4 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2560',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Walking Economy',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	&ldquo;I&rsquo;m a walking economy,&rdquo; an economist was overheard to say.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;My hairline&rsquo;s in recession, my waist is a victim of inflation, and together they&rsquo;re putting me in a deep depression!&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<strong>-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-02-09',
			'modified' => '2014-02-09',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => '“I’m a walking economy,” an economist was overheard to say.',
			'sortorder' => '2408',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 5 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2559',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'New Accountant',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Nepali businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for the new accountant.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	His friend asks, &ldquo;Didn&rsquo;t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	The businessman replies, &ldquo;That&rsquo;s the accountant we&rsquo;re looking for!&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp;-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-02-09',
			'modified' => '2014-02-09',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Nepali businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for the new accountant.',
			'sortorder' => '2402',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 6 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2514',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Work Experience',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Two employees are having a conversation on work experience. One asks the other: &ldquo;How long have you been working here?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&ldquo;Ever since the boss threatened to fire me!&rdquo; came &nbsp;the reply. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-01-27',
			'modified' => '2014-01-27',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Two employees are having a conversation on work experience. One asks the other: “How long have you been working here?”',
			'sortorder' => '2358',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 7 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2466',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'In Mother’s Footsteps',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A candidate to be the heroine in a new Nepali movie was being interviewed. The director and the producer had a condition to the actress that she cannot get married at least for another three years.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	The candidate replied: &lsquo;Rather, I will never get married. I will follow in the footsteps of my mother. Like her I will always remain single.&rsquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-01-20',
			'modified' => '2014-01-20',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A candidate to be the heroine in a new Nepali movie was being interviewed. The director and the producer had a condition to the actress that she cannot get married at least for another three years.',
			'sortorder' => '2307',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 8 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2418',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Nepali Invention @ CAN Infotech',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	At his company&rsquo;s stall in the ongoing CAN Info Tech, a computer engineer proudly announces about a software they have recently developed.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&lsquo;Dear visitors, we have developed a new software which we can call truly Nepali as it behaves like a typical Nepali.&rsquo;&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&lsquo;In what way?&rsquo; ask the visitors.&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&lsquo;Whenever it makes a mistake,&rsquo; replied the engineer, &lsquo;it blames other software or the computer. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; -ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2014-01-06',
			'modified' => '2014-01-06',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'At his company’s stall in the ongoing CAN Info Tech, a computer engineer proudly announces about a software they have recently developed.',
			'sortorder' => '2260',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 9 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2328',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Pills And Colours',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Dr Bharat at the Norvic Hospital prescribed the medicines to a businessman and repeated his instructions: &lsquo;The yellow pills like Panchayat colour are for your stomach, the red pills like communists are for your lever and the green pills like tree are for your heart. I hope you got that straight?&rsquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Businessman: &lsquo;It&rsquo;s all clear to me. I hope that pills also understand where they are supposed to go.&rsquo; <strong>&nbsp;-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-12-23',
			'modified' => '2013-12-23',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Dr Bharat at the Norvic Hospital prescribed the medicines to a businessman and repeated his instructions: ‘The yellow pills like Panchayat colour are for your stomach, the red pills like communists are for your lever and the green pills like tree are for your heart. I hope you got that straight?’',
			'sortorder' => '2171',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 10 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2282',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Businessman’s Revenge',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Nepali novae rich businessman was seen carrying a remote control in his coat at Hyatt. One of his acquaintances could not resist asking him: &lsquo;I noticed that you are carrying a TV remote control. What may be the reason?&rsquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	The businessman said: &lsquo;My wife always refuses to come to the cocktail parties. So I figured out this as the most evil thing I could do to her legally.&rsquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; &nbsp; -ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-12-17',
			'modified' => '2013-12-17',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Nepali novae rich businessman was seen carrying a remote control in his coat at Hyatt. One of his acquaintances could not resist asking him: ‘I noticed that you are carrying a TV remote control. What may be the reason?’',
			'sortorder' => '2125',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 11 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2240',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Growing Nepali Film Industry',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A famous actor from abroad was requested to re-inaugurate a Nepali film. After the ribbon-cutting was over, he was asked to make a speech as the chief guest before screening of the movie started.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Looking at the sparse audience at the cinema hall the guest said: &lsquo;I see each of you must have bought two or three seats. This shows how the popularity of Nepali film industry is growing.&rsquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; -ML</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-12-09',
			'modified' => '2013-12-09',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A famous actor from abroad was requested to re-inaugurate a Nepali film. After the ribbon-cutting was over, he was asked to make a speech as the chief guest before screening of the movie started.',
			'sortorder' => '2084',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 12 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2188',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Parliamentary Language',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	<span style="font-size: 12px;">The main leaders of four major parties viz Sushil, JN, Makune, Prachanda &amp; Baburam were discussing on how to form a new government. While discussion was going on they started to fight over some trivial issues like &lsquo;decision to be made on consensus or based on majority, how others should address UNCPM leaders publicly&rsquo;, etc.&nbsp;</span></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	But Sushil and JN, unable to tolerate the languages used by Prachanda &amp; Baburam &nbsp;and also their demand for recounting of the votes of last election, thrashed UNCPM leaders in the meeting.</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	On this Prachanda and Baburam got wild and said: &ldquo;You can do anything but we warn you, never use the Parliamentary language with us&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</div>
<div>
	<strong>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-12-02',
			'modified' => '2013-12-02',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'The main leaders of four major parties viz Sushil, JN, Makune, Prachanda & Baburam were discussing on how to form a new government. While discussion was going on they started to fight over some trivial issues like ‘decision to be made on consensus or based on majority, how others should address UNCPM leaders publicly’, etc.',
			'sortorder' => '2032',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 13 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '2155',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Prachanda’s Voluntary Disclosure',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	Prachanda was hurrying down the Paris Danda road dresses well as usual. His old Guru, now turned a foe, Mohan Vaidya &lsquo;Kiran&rsquo; stopped him and said: &ldquo;Comrade, I must draw your attention to the fact that your shirt-buttons are undone and your tie knot is very loose like your talks. You look tired and hungry.&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Prachanda : &ldquo;No, I am neither tired nor hungry. Rather I am angry with you. However, now I am on the way to the Income Tax Office to make a voluntary disclosure to pave the way to become the President&rdquo;. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<strong> &nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-11-25',
			'modified' => '2013-11-25',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'Prachanda was hurrying down the Paris Danda road dresses well as usual. His old Guru, now turned a foe, Mohan Vaidya ‘Kiran’ stopped him and said: “Comrade, I must draw your attention to the fact that your shirt-buttons are undone and your tie knot is very loose like your talks. You look tired and hungry.”',
			'sortorder' => '2002',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	),
	(int) 14 => array(
		'Article' => array(
			'id' => '1983',
			'article_category_id' => '86',
			'title' => 'Open Secret',
			'sub_title' => '',
			'summary' => null,
			'content' => '<div>
	A Joint Economic Commission Meeting of Nepal India held last time put many new issues on the table including the additional lock system that the Indian Customs had started enforcing on Nepal bound containers ferrying third country imports. The commerce secretary of Nepal was not very happy with the decision but could not say it openly in the meeting.&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	After the meeting was over a press conference was organized during which a &nbsp;journalist asked a peculiar question. &ldquo;What is the common among the Nepal India border, additional lock system and the Nepali Post office?&rdquo;</div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>
<div>
	Thinking for a while, the commerce secretary of Nepal replies in one gasp: &ldquo;It&rsquo;s an open secret. None of them can be closed&rdquo;. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <strong>&nbsp; &nbsp;-ML</strong></div>
<div>
	&nbsp;</div>',
			'published' => true,
			'created' => '2013-10-21',
			'modified' => '2013-10-21',
			'keywords' => 'the corporate weekly from Nepal, nepali corporate events – news – interviews – reviews, nepali corporate focus, nepali corporate status and news, news from nepali corporate industry, corporate happenings – events – news from nepal',
			'description' => 'A Joint Economic Commission Meeting of Nepal India held last time put many new issues on the table including the additional lock system that the Indian Customs had started enforcing on Nepal bound containers ferrying third country imports. The commerce secretary of Nepal was not very happy with the decision but could not say it openly in the meeting.',
			'sortorder' => '1833',
			'image' => null,
			'article_date' => '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
			'homepage' => false,
			'breaking_news' => false,
			'main_news' => false,
			'in_scroller' => false,
			'user_id' => '0'
		)
	)
)
$current_user = null
$logged_in = false
$xml = false
simplexml_load_file - [internal], line ??
include - APP/View/Elements/side_bar.ctp, line 133
View::_evaluate() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 971
View::_render() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 933
View::_renderElement() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 1224
View::element() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 418
include - APP/View/Articles/index.ctp, line 157
View::_evaluate() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 971
View::_render() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 933
View::render() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 473
Controller::render() - CORE/Cake/Controller/Controller.php, line 968
Dispatcher::_invoke() - CORE/Cake/Routing/Dispatcher.php, line 200
Dispatcher::dispatch() - CORE/Cake/Routing/Dispatcher.php, line 167
[main] - APP/webroot/index.php, line 117

file not found!

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FOREX

Currency	Unit	Buy	Sell
U.S. Dollar	1	121.23	121.83
European Euro	1	131.65	132.31
UK Pound Sterling	1	142.47	143.18
Swiss Franc	1	124.29	124.90
Australian Dollar	1	71.69	72.05
Canadian Dollar	1	83.90	84.32
Japanese Yen	10	10.94	11.00
Chinese Yuan	1	17.17	17.26
Saudi Arabian Riyal	1	32.27	32.43
UAE Dirham	1	33.01	33.17
Malaysian Ringgit	1	27.36	27.50
South Korean Won	100	9.77	9.82

Update: 2020-03-25 | Source: Nepal Rastra Bank (NRB)

Bullion

Fine Gold	1 tola	77000.00
Tejabi Gold	1 tola	76700.00
Silver	1 tola	720.00

Update : 2020-03-25

Source: Federation of Nepal Gold and Silver Dealers' Association

Petroleum

Petrol	1 Liter	106.00
Diesel	1 Liter	95.00
Kerosene	1 Liter	95.00
LP Gas	1 Cylinder	1375.00

Update : 2020-03-25

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